I recently had the pleasure of delivering a karate, empowerment and self-defence workshop to a fantastic group of women who regularly meet to try new things, grow new friendships and support each other. The people were lovely, the venue was nice,  and the evening was filled with laughter, fun and learning, despite touching on some sensitive and potentially triggering topics.

I seek out and embrace any opportunity to run these sessions for women, in the hope that it may, in the case of an attack, make a difference to the outcome. However, it is imperative to keep it real and I know and highlight to those attending that there is a vast difference between having a go at some simple techniques, in a safe and comfortable environment, with a group of compliant training partners under the direction of a qualified coach, to the harsh reality of any given situation where you may need to utilise those skills. But, for many women who aren’t comfortable or have no desire to go to a martial arts class, this is a great opportunity to learn. Clearly, no one becomes a proficient fighter in one session! That’s not the expectation or the goal, it is simply a way to open a door to the knowledge that we have the power and capability to fight back and the opportunity to experience how it feels to hit something.

I liken it to doing a first aid training course. You learn some really usefull skills which may be of significant help to you or others in a medical emergency. However, if you only work on those skills once every three years, the knowledge can fade and the ability to react appropriately under pressure diminishes significantly. It’s well worth doing the course and it can improve the potential outcome of a medical emergency, but you know you’re no paramedic!

Whilst I love to deliver one-off self-defence workshops for individuals and groups, and wholeheartedly believe in their importance and value, the most effective learning comes through repetition, which is why a regular class works best. To try and ensure the best outcome, we need self-defence skills to be as instinctive as possible, and that instinct is driven by training both the body and mind to react quickly and appropriately, even under high levels of stress. The more we practice, the easier things become and the better we are at them. Even with decades of experience I’m not nieve or arrogant enough to believe I would always win a fight. What I do know is that my martial arts training gives me the ability to react quickly and fight back hard. I’m a gentle soul, I hate conflict and I don’t like fighting, which, as contradictory as it may sound, is why I train to be good at it. The knowledge and skillset that I have developed can help me to spot and avoid some potential dangers, it helps me to stay calm and focused if I’m stressed or afraid and it has given me confidence in my ability to stand up for myself and others if I need to.

I see many articles written by martial artists claiming that different forms of martial arts or self-defence training are better than others, critising the way other people train, learn or teach as ‘not effective for the street’. I say f**k that mentality! Just because you learn in a safe and controlled environment doesn’t mean it can’t be effective! Learning how to kick and punch and even limited exposure to training which helps you to develop the confidence to fight back, no matter whether it’s labelled karate, kickboxing, ju jitsu, self-defence or anything else, gives you a better chance in a fight than nothing. So I wholeheartedly encourage every woman to find a class or a course and empower yourself with any skills and knowledge you can, and I hope and wish that you never, ever need to use them.

Women shouldn’t need to learn self-defence, we shouldn’t need to consider whether it’s ok to walk home alone from a night out or whether our clothing choices may illicit unwanted attention. We shouldn’t need to consider that our own safety outweighs the environmental impact of using our own car instead of public transport and we shouldn’t need to feel afraid when we’re home alone and there’s a knock on the door. We absolutely shouldn’t need to feel fear around those closest to us, but that is the sad reality for too many women and girls.

My parting thought for you on the subject is this …. self-defence starts when you set your own mind about what’s acceptable. In my opinion, it is never acceptable for anyone to purposefully hurt you, emotionally or physically. It is never ok for someone to touch you without your consent, and fear is not something you should ever have to learn to live with and accommodate. IT IS acceptable to put up a fight, it is ok to stand up for yourself and give yourself the authority to say ‘no’, and it is absolutely the right thing to empower yourself with the skills and mindset to enable you to do so.